I NEVER wanted to be my kids “Best Friend”…
Until…the day,Birdie posted on IG…and I loved it!
I NEVER wanted to be my kids “Best Friend”….Call me old fashioned but my mom made it clear when we were younger, she wasn’t our friend. She was mean, never let us stay out and drink with our friends, never let us have ice cream for dinner and never cared if we had cool clothes. She just insisted on us being warm, well fed and loved beyond measure. Ridiculous!!!
I had a similar approach to motherhood. I took every “You’re a horrible mom!” or “Why can’t you be cool like the other moms?” as a badge of honor. It meant they had boundaries. It meant they knew where the line was. It meant they knew right from wrong and who to talk to when that was hard to decipher. I’ve rocked this philosophy for 23 years and I’m pretty proud of how they’ve all turned out. (minus some stinky moments and an aversion to deodorant, which is a lot more recent than I’d like to acknowledge) Until this past week….I turned 51 and my daughter Brooke, aka Birdie, posted this picture to her IG story.
Birdie’s post on my 51st Birthday to her Instagram Account.
Of course, I loved the pictures of us through the years but it was the note on top that caught my eye. “Happy Birthday to my best friend”….and I was struck. I don’t know she’s ever called me that to my face. Frankly, most days I’m not sure my kids even know I’m alive outside of when their car breaks down or life is just….too much. Maybe it’s due to my age or my kids being older now, but I was oddly excited at this new shift in our relationship. I feel like it’s a sign they are growing up and I’m finally seen as an ally, a confidante, and finally….a friend.
I was lucky to have my mom and my Grandmom Zip (short for Zippilli) around when I was young and into my married and early child rearing years. For so many years she was just my grandmom who gave me candy and made tapioca pudding but as I got older I realized she became my best friend.
Rudy and I taking pics before my high school dance (circa 1988?)
Family, that eventually becomes friends, is pretty special. It means while God, or some higher power, decided you were related….somehow they got it right and you realize you were MEANT to be together. It means you were put together to LEARN from each other, to LOVE each other, to sometimes GET HURT by each other, learn to FORGIVE and LOVE them again. It’s a pretty special bond….one that you were born with…but at some point decide to lean into and nurture.
Like most moms the early years of motherhood felt thankless, draining and unending but as I round out these “young adult years” I’m surprised at how much small things like Brooke’s note affect me. I’m proud I get to be her friend. I’m excited she thinks I’m cool enough to hang out with and I can’t wait for her to take the journey of motherhood and one day have a great relationship with her kids.
Jacqueline, my budding comedian,
and I at one of her shows.
To all the moms still in the grind…it gets better. One day, maybe years from now, your kids will acknowledge you might know some things….and it’s the greatest day in the world. You won’t have to follow them around extolling lessons you’ve recited a million times, they’ll come to you! I know!!! Crazy!!!
Dean and I at the gym comparing arms:) Mine’s bigger.
Keep up the good work MEAN MOMS….it only takes 18-23 years for it to happen but when it does you know you’ve officially entered into the next phase of life. I wonder when the phase begins when your kids pay off your house and buy you a yacht? I bet that’s next year!
