We’re suppose to want a better life for our kids, right?

Every mom would do ANYTHING for her kids…until…

(Picture taken when I was a good mom)

I love my kids….let’s start there. Sure sometimes they stink, brushing their teeth can apparently be a “goal” for the day versus a necessity and only God know what “aesthetic” they are going for when dressing….but I love them.

They are now 24, 21 and 19 and we’ve gotten past the point where I know nothing…which was game changer. Mind you the “you don’t know anything” period lasted about twelve years, but sometime in their twenties they found some value in my old lady brain.

Most days I’m not asked to flex my mental prowess, but since my oldest two launched standup comedy careers there’s been more interest in the valuable info I’ve gleaned during my twenty-one years as a comic. The other day I was extolling some amazing advice about the sitcom script Dean and Jacqueline are writing and producing. Dean was telling me about the outstanding talent they have working on their new project and the topic of “head writers” vs “staff writers” came up. After listening intently to Dean’s list of their incredible staff and cast, I politely inquired as to what “Title” I would be given in the project….And then time stood still.

We stared at one another for a solid minute. Me, waiting patiently for him to acknowledge my expertise and endow me with the “Head Writer” or “Executive Producer” title I surely deserved….and him, I guess, waiting for the house to catch on fire so he didn’t have to answer me.

Because my kids and I are now all in the same industry, I find myself searching for…validation, props, a compliment, any time I give them advice. Is it too much to ask them to show some semblance of respect?…admiration?….or a “you rock, Mom!”

The answer is “yes”, in case you were wondering…it is too much. Apparently, If YOU are the mom, you get nothing. My friend and fellow comic, Missy, giving the same (damn) advice, would be “amazing and a genius!” But advice from me? eh. I’m just their mom.

After our minute long staring contest, Dean slithered away mentioning some low key titles he could “throw me”….”Craft services? Coffee runner? Production assistant?”, he smirked.

Like any professional, with decades of experience and self respect, I followed him as he ran downstairs and I screamed from the top of the steps, “Dean, I better be listed on your dumb show as a Head Writer!”….and then, I waited, foolishly, for an acknowledgement.

From the dark reaches of the basement, my heart settled as I heard him say, “Of course, we are going to list you as a Head Writer!”…..I smiled a bit in my heart, knowing I had raised my kids right…until I heard him mumble, “Your name just may be spelled wrong….like, D-E-A-N instead of D-E-N-A!”

It was in that moment I realized…

Yes, I’m a great mom.

Yes, I’ve always wanted the best for them. And….

Yes, my greatest moment will be when they surpass me in all things…..Unless, of course, I’m feeling salty. Maybe I’m salty because I’m the reason they are even ALIVE! Maybe, I’m salty because they’re the reason my vagina still hurts. Or maybe, I’m salty because I’m positive they will all be cooler than me one day.

I laughed about our interaction because I know, deep down, I want my kids to be happy, at peace and surrounded by loving partners and supportive friends. I just hope one day when they have those things and win their oscar or nobel prize, they’ll mention me in their acceptance speech.

Moms give up being acknowledged for their sacrifices pretty early on. I’m pretty sure it happens the day we give birth. I’m just saying, can’t I want a better life for my kids, at the same time as wanting some acknowledgement that I might be still cooler than them? And if they aren’t giving me the props I deserve…. can’t I want worse for them?

Keep in mind, this is coming from a lady who, currently, doesn’t have a car and has little hopes of getting one because the bank won’t give her a loan…..so, she’s driving around in her daughter’s dirty car that smells a little….so in reality, they are actually living a better life than me…and I’m proud of them…which is how it should be:)

What’s the nicest thing your kid has said to give you props?