Moving out…or Moving On?
I’m moving out.
There, I said it.
The next few weeks I’ll begin packing my house to move out for six months…and even though this was my idea, I’m freaking out a little bit.
“That’s a weird number of months”, you’re probably thinking and it is! But this whole thing is weird, so let me try and explain.
It’s been over two years since my divorce and although I’ve taken my time, given myself some grace, went through therapy, renovated my house, found love again and the kids are good…there’s still some part of me that feels nervous…scared…unsettled.
Honestly, it’s mostly the financial/partner part, the part I’d come to rely on in my marriage. The idea that I was part of team. The part where I could focus on everyone’s happiness and the logistical parts of my life were taken care of. Mind you, I’ve always worked but I wasn’t the sole provider…and now, I find myself trying to maintain a life for myself and my kids by BEING FUNNY…and that’s just ridiculousJ Thankfully, I come from a long line of Bad*SS women and after my pity party and contemplating selling everything and moving into a box, I decided to put on my business hat and hatch a plan.
I figured God blessed me with two gifts….I’m funny and I know how to renovate houses. I’ve only ever purchased “old, ugly houses” and renovated them on a limited budget, which has uniquely prepared me for life post-divorce. I decided to turn my problem (limited funds/ mortgage) into working assets. I’ve had some success renting my shore house, so I’ve decided to rent my primary house for a while and start my next adventure. This endeavor will give me some breathing room to finish my book, continue the morning show/touring and start a new series on Instagram about starting over after divorce called “What’s next?”
Many “What’s next?” moments have plagued me the last two years but I don’t think divorce is the only time we experience the anguish of “What’s next?”. Maybe when you had your first child, got married, lost your job, lost a loved one, graduated college, when your kids moved out or just felt…stuck.
There are tons of reasons to ask yourself…What do I do now? Whether it be after an amazing experience or one where your life just implodes. If you’re like me, you had a million reasons NOT to implode your life…and only one reason to move forward, into pain. I found myself in a position where my fear of making it on my own, was less daunting than the pain of staying where I was. So, I moved forward and I’m happy. Truly. I’m am, of course, also slightly unsure of how I make this all work, but I will.
I’m renting my home “furnished”, so most of my furniture is staying at my house, but my piano and a few items are going to my boyfriend’s house. I’ll be bee-bopping for six months between his house, my mom’s, sisters and the shore and I’ve decided to think of it as my next great adventure!
While prepping to move, I’ve learned a few things about myself.
I learned what matters most to me is being with my family…and I can do that anywhere.
I learned to make my assets work for me…so I can do the things I want to do.
And hopefully, I’m teaching my kids, they can figure anything out.
I originally wrote “Moving Out” as the title of this blog and it made me sad. Like I failed in my assessment of how much I could take on/handle post divorce. But I’ve decided to look at this as a positive thing. I’m not “Moving Out” because I’ve failed…I’m “Moving On” because I can and because it’s time. It’s time for me to begin my next chapter. It’s time to discover who I am post divorce, post child rearing and starting over.
I hope you’ll join me on my next great adventure…starting over with Jason, mending our blended family together, renovating his home to be “ours” and finding peace under a new roof with a new love.
Tell me what you’re contemplating for your “What’s next?” What crazy idea do you need to take on?...and What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
